1- It was cold and rainy and gross the day we went to the lake, plus mom was sick. So we weren't able to do anything awesome.

2- Neither my dad nor my brother reads my blog. Thanks, supportive family.

Now that we are well past the point of ruining Christmas surprises, I am going to go ahead and give you all the details of my trip to the lake. It was a hot and humid Honduran day. We hopped in our car and headed to the lake, which is about an hour and half away from San Pedro Sula.

Lake Yojoa is the largest natural lake in Honduras. Really, the largest lake of any kind, actually. And it is pretty much one of the most beautiful places I have seen in my life. It is surrounded by small towns and a row of restaurants (I think there are 27) that serve the exact same menu...fried fish with a variety of carbs. Not the best marketing strategy, but alas. One of these small towns is the home of D&D, the only microbrewery in Honduras. It is owned by a man from Oregon. In addition to delicious homemade brew, he also makes his own sodas, grows blueberries (the only ones in the country) and has some cabins and rooms. It sounded like the ideal place to stay for the weekend. If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and slap myself for considering to stay there. For one thing, it was one of the most difficult places to find. We stopped and asked directions several times. Each time, the direction giver would point down the road and say "go that way...you can't miss it". After going back and forth three or four times, the final direction giver said "go that way, and turn at this point...you can't miss it." Funny how that one vital piece of information can make things so much easier.

We pulled in around lunch time, so we ordered some frosty adult beverages and some bland food. We asked for a room, and the guy handed us some keys and said "it's over that way", pointing vaguely to the side of the property that ALL of the rooms were on. Thanks. I really needed to use the facilities, so I look for our room. I see a door with our number on it, so I walk up to it. It is locked, so I pull out the key. It unlocks the door. I walk in, and there are definitely two people having sex on the bed. As quickly as I could, I stumble out of the door. Turns out, that wasn't our room. It was a cabin that had the same number as our room. And apparently, the same key. Nice. I ask for a different room...one that no one else will be able to unlock with their room key. I know, I know, I am a picky customer.

Lunch is now over, so we head to our room. It is perhaps the most sketch room I have ever seen in my entire life. Crumbling particle board is held loosely to the wall with rusty nails that are sticking out and bent, and bugs are crawling all over the place. Two cots, covered in stained sheets are pushed right up onto the bug infested walls. One bed has a dead bug lying in the middle of it, with a trail of ants leading to a hole under the dirty, rusty sink. It was a tough decision....would I rather sleep here or on the sex bed? ::shudder::

We head back to the main office and ask for clean sheets. The guy is super embarrassed, and recommends that we go for a walk in the nearby ecological park while they change the sheets. There is a lovely swimming hole that he recommends, which sounds nice on this humid gross day. So we take off. This park is much less a park and much more an abandoned coffee plantation. It is ugly and has overgrown coffee...shrubs...all over the place. The swimming hole he mentioned is a rancid smelling, algae covered, turbid, sludge filled hole. Neither Gabrielle nor I felt comfortable swimming in it without some sort of vaccination or immunization shot, so we headed back to the hotel. Upon our return, we discover that the owner was obviously not too embarrassed by the nasty condition of our room, because the same stained sheets covered the beds. At least they had the decency to sweep the dead bug onto the floor.

It was so late and we were so tired, we decided to stay. Fortunately we both had brought our own sheets, so we bundled up (deciding it was worth being uncomfortably hot than risk exposing ourselves to whatever diseases were breeding on the hotel beds) and turned in for the night. As soon as we woke up in the morning, we packed up our things and prepared for our escape. At this point in time, Gabrielle noticed that her iPod was no longer in her suitcase. The only two explanations for its dissappearance were that it grew wings and flew away the night before, or someone went through her bag when they came in to "clean" the room. The owner did not believe that any of his staff could have liberated her iPod, to the point that he refused to take her contact information in case it turned up. Two thumbs up for the stellar customer service.

Our weekend picked up significantly after we checked out of the hotel. We rented a rowboat and went out on the lake for a couple hours. I am apparently the worst rower in the history of the activity. But it was a lovely time, and my slow oar strokes and awkward steering allowed us plenty of time to check out the splendor of the lake. After a couple hours, we headed back to shore and drove to a nearby waterfall, Pulhapanzak Falls. Even though we were not able to pronounce the name, we were still able to have a great time. A man and a little boy took us under the waterfall, Last of the Mohicans style. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Then we got to climb around the falls for a little while. And then we had to come back to stinky San Pedro. I guess all good things must come to an end.

If you find yourself in the Lake Yojoa area, I hear that the hotel Aguazul is a pretty decent place to stay. If you want to go to D&D's for an adult beverage, that is recommended. Anything more than that, I recommend you stay away from that place. Even though Trip Advisor apparently has a decent rating for them, it turns out that most of the people who have rated it are related to the owner. They seem to be a little blind to the sucky aspects (to be read everything but the beer and blueberry pancakes which are, in a word, sublime).